Day 41 – How To Get Less Fat…

It’s happened…I have let the gods of fried food and mashed potatoes win.  I have gained back weight I promised myself I never would, and am squishier than usual in lots of places.  It’s so not cool.

I have been “overweight” my entire life.  This is nothing new, and quite honestly, nothing that I’m not used to.  For people who have always been fluffy, you know it’s a constant battle to just not gain weight, not to mention loose it.  The scale is a constant yo-yo number and it seems to go upwards so much freaking faster than you ever imagined possible.  Then all of a sudden, one day, you look in the mirror and you say “What the fuck?  Where did that fourth chin come from?”

When this occurs, if you are a lifelong fat girl, you give in, wave the white dinner napkin, have a really huge bacon cheese burger to give you the motivation for what’s to come, and you plan the “get less fat” campaign.  Now, I do not mean this to be derogatory.  Quite honestly, I do not believe that fat is the new four letter word.  I am fat.  I know this, everyone else knows this.  It’s ok to own it.  The other thing I am however, is healthy (not to mention a stone cold fox).  I have no blood pressure, cholesterol, sugar, back, or joint issues.  I get pretty regular check ups, go to my gyno, and live my life.  Fat AND healthy AND happy.  I know, it’s a totally mind blowing concept.  Don’t tell too many people lest the billions of dollars being funneled into the search for perfect bodies and empty souls might decrease by a fat girls income or two.

The other thing that all of us fluffy girls know, is that we probably will really never be skinny.  Like the kind of skinny that other people might get to.  For example, I will never in my entire life be a size 6.  I won’t even be a 12.  My ideal size goal is a 14/16.  That is a size I can maintain without wanting to kill myself and a size that makes me happy when I look in the mirror.  I also have never been lower than that since before I hit puberty.  My body just isn’t made that way.  Hence, when I make an effort to be healthier, I call it getting “less fat”.  I will always be fat, but I can definitely be less fat than what I am currently.

Now, I know what some of you fitness crazies out there are saying, and also you previously fat girls who are now truly skinny (incidentally, you x-fatties are the worst offenders).  You are saying I can get there, it’s a dedication issue, it’s a life choice, it’s me being lazy.  What I have to say to you is that you are totally and completely right.  The issue is, the things that I would have to change, and the level of misery that I would have to go through and adapt as my new “lifestyle” would mean that MAYBE I’d be skinny, but most DEFINITELY I would be fucking miserable.  I love food, I love not living at the gym, and I love being able to not constantly count calories and eat salads and cucumbers when everyone else is eating wings at happy hour.  I will not sacrifice a full and rich life in order to conform to a society’s anorexic and unhealthy body image expectations.  I’m fat, I’m sexy, I dress fabulously, and I’m a freaking pimp in the kitchen.  I wouldn’t trade any of those for a single digit dress size in a million years.  So you can take your condescending tone and snarky comments and shove them up your perfectly formed, spandex clad ass.

Just to set one other thing straight here too…I love my skinny chick friends.  Some women are thin, and beautiful and that suits them.  Some are that way because of genetics and some work their asses off to be that way.  You go for it.  I don’t judge you for the life you live, and I think you rock too.  My main point is that all of us women need to stick together, we need to not be fighting against each other, and appreciate the beautiful spectrum of spectacular females that are out there.  Fat or not, love each other and don’t shame each other into thinking that any of us is not good enough.  We are all good enough and we are all stunning goddesses in our own right, fat or not.

All this being said, if you are on your own journey of “get less fat”, then here are a few tips to follow that have worked for me when I need to get my ass in gear….

  1. Have a plan – You have got to have a plan, no matter what it is.  Join a weight loss program, see a nutritionist, or just do your own research.  You have to plan for what you will do, plan your meals, plan your workout schedule, and make sure you stick to it as best you can.
  2. Get moving – No matter how you slice it, you have got to work out in some way.  Do Zumba, yoga, pilates, hiking, or just some good old cardio at a gym.  There are a million excuses to not work out.  I know them all,  I’ve used them all.  They don’t matter.  And don’t let yourself be intimidated by the people at the gym.  In my experience, there are two kinds of people you will run into.  People who either think it’s awesome you are there and getting healthy and will cheer you on, and those who think you are an offense to their gym space by being fat and being in their sightline.  To the former, embrace them and thank them for the encouragement.  To the latter, gain some small joy from being fat and making them watch you work out.  It makes them so uncomfortable it’s awesome, and it brings me a little smile every time.  For those of you ladies who are shy, most gyms have a women’s only section that is much more private and usually much less attended.  Use that to your advantage and rock out in there.
  3. Eat smarter – Eat lots of colors…veggies, fruits, beans, etc.  I once heard a nutritionist say “eat the rainbow”.  She didn’t mean skittles.  But really, just be smart, make some good choices and watch the portions you put on your plate.
  4. Drink your water – Just do it.  No excuses.  Drink your water every day.  Your skin, your thighs, and your appetite will thank you.
  5. Get a buddy – Being held accountable for working out and eating right with another person helps.  It really does.  Whether it’s your significant other, your weight loss coach, or your friend at work, get a buddy and motivate each other.  It will keep you going and will push you harder than if you were doing it yourself.
  6. Track your progress – Keep track of how far you’ve come.  I do weigh myself every week, NOT every day.  I also find it much more telling though to track your measurements.  When you see how many inches you have lost from areas like your waist, thighs, and arms, it really hits home.  That is a real result that you can see, not just a number.
  7. Celebrate – When you reach a goal, no matter how small, celebrate it.  Be happy, buy yourself a nice new pair of shoes, or eat an ice cream.  I know that you “shouldn’t” reward yourself with bad food choices, but I for sure do.  If I have hit my 15 lb mark then you better believe it I’m gonna go out and celebrate with chinese food.  As long as it’s one meal or one treat and you get back on the wagon afterwards, it’s totally fine.

At the end of the day, do your research, find what works for you, talk to your doctor, and set reasonable goals.  Love yourself.  Don’t beat yourself up if you slide backwards, and use your support systems.  A little common sense goes a long way and don’t eat brownies for breakfast.  That is all…


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